I did it! Despite a hesitant beginning, I managed to survive eight weeks of college (and life) and am a stronger, better person for it. I'm amused that I can sincerely smile about it now, taking into consideration the panicked state I found myself in on the first day of class, hearing the instructors go over what we were to tackle in a mere 32 weekdays.
I wanted to quit. I regretted exposing myself, telling the world that I was going to college. I needed to find my way out...magically erase my student loan debt...get my job back...continue my mundane, future-less existence.
But I couldn't. You were counting on me. My children were counting on me. I was counting on me. So I dove in. Anatomy took the bulk of my attention for the first two weeks (oddly enough, my first accounting test suffered...hmmm). I found balance. AND I was adopted into the best study group ever. Laurie, Kristen and Emily breathed life and hope into my school career.
Sidenote: choose your study friends carefully. When I sat down at a random table the first day of anatomy class, I didn't think anything of it. Then a bit later the instructor encouraged us to get to know our tablemates quickly, as we'd likely be learning side by side with them for this intense class. I looked around and staring back at me were three 19 year-old prospective pediatric nurses ("I wanna work with babies!") who already knew each other from KU. They had all spent numerous hours working on their tans and nary a one at a job outside of being a Johnson County Princess. I digress....
Anyway, after a week of hoping that girl-who-plays-with-her-split-ends and chick-who-apparently-uses-sharpie-for-eyeliner would magically become studiously compatible with me, I gave up. I found myself solo at the lab to study with the models (the bones, not the girls) and another group from class was working together...beautifully. I quietly tackled my list, palpitating the structures, trying to keep straight the olecranon fossa from the olecranon process. I chatted a bit with them and they kindly gave me a few great memorization tips and went over the bones with me a time or two.
A few days later as we had moved onto the muscles, they called me over to join them during classtime. They had voted to adopt me! These ladies are a huge reason I enjoyed my class as much as I did and was as successful as I was. We met regularly outside of school and each brought our own special touch to the group (I'm fairly certain mine was comic relief).
I will be far more careful in choosing where I sit and to whom I speak in my upcoming classes. It was only with the friendship of these fine ladies that I was able to stand out in class as I'd hoped.
As we waited for Dr. Clark to open the classroom for our final exam, we committed to at least one more meeting before we continue our studies at three separate institutions. Simply social with no studying. No cells. No respiratory systems.
No bones about it.