It's a good thing The Valedictorian was with me today when I said that. She was able to subtly convey to Coffee-Refill-Guy that I was harmless and that he should simply take my $1.01 and smile.
My charm bracelet had become entangled in one of my many layers of winter gear. It's cold. So cold, in fact, that the unicorn was seeking shelter.
See how it all makes sense now?