Monday, August 15, 2011

Love Shack

Because it would be flat-out wrong for my life to move forward in a linear, uneventful fashion, on the eve of my Just-Right-Job-Offer, my landlord called to let me know he needed to sell the house. My precious Casa del Mar will be turned over to some other family so they may reap the benefits of its love.

I've felt it since the first day I came to see it. Casa del Mar hugs you when you walk in the door. Every time. It has held my hand through my first lonely nights sans kids. It provided the perfect corner for the Chair of Fabulosity. It's where I have celebrated my independence and created a fantastic home for my children. I love Casa del Mar.

I remember when I was getting ready to leave Los Angeles and I couldn't bear the thought of moving out of the Big Blue House. Princess Pearl was born in its tub, for Pete's sake! How could I turn such a precious home over to someone else?

Well, as monumental as those not-quite two years were, the almost-three I've enjoyed in Casa del Mar have dwarfed them. Moving out, finalizing the divorce, returning to school, buying Viv, chapters of friendship and love with Wasabi, conquering a marathon, earning my degree...the memories I've made here are layers of wallpaper that will soon be covered by someone else's dreams.

And that's okay (or so I keep telling myself).  Casa del Mar has been such a blessing in my life. I will always love it and will wish it well. It's obviously time for it to play a pivotal role for another family. The right person will pass the threshold and feel the love and it will become theirs.

And I guess that's all I ask...that someone loves it as much it it loves them.


Anonymous said...

You constantly amaze me with your positive attitude!

So you don't say when you have to move, and whether you've found a new place.


Casey said...

I am so sad! I know that Casa Del Mar largely has the energy it has because you live there, but I have many, many bittersweet memories of your home as my sanctuary. It will be sad when I can't visit it anymore. But I am always excited to see what next adventure will come your way. Let me know how I can help.

whoinsamhill said...

by Wendell Berry

I go by a field where once
I cultivated a few poor crops.
It is now covered with young trees,
for the forest that belongs here
has come back and reclaimed its own.
And I think of all the effort
I have wasted and all the time,
and of how much joy I took
in that failed work and how much
it taught me. For in so failing
I learned something of my place,
something of myself, and now
I welcome back the trees.

While this doesn't tie in with Casa del Mar playing a role now for a new family, it does tie in with your soon to be 'merely' a memory of what was and your self-learning.

I hope your new wallpaper will be the best layer yet.